Senin, 30 Mei 2011

Lulu from the Lolly World


“Olivia….. Honey. Lunch is already sweetie” Mom cried from downstairs. I was watching my new outdated and awful new room when I heard that and I snapped up immediately.
"Mom, why do we have to move?" I complained to Mommy.
"Honey, I’ve told you, this is all for our good. I would get a higher salary after we moved here and we do not need to think about how to fulfill needs of our lives. You do not need to work part time as a milk girl anymore because all of our needs can be fulfill with my salary, "said Mom, as she poured orange juice into a glass.
Yap, I actually have already known it all. But, I just don’t really like with everything new. New home, new friends and new school.  I do hate try to adapt because obviously I'm not the kind of kid that easy socializing. But, I also can’t protest. I can not bear to see Mom had to work hard just for our live. New job offers large enough salary to meet our demand. After all, I had no friends or companions in the old habitation. My mom is the toughest woman I ever knew. He officially became a single parent since my daddy died of a heart attack when I was seven years old.
Dad ... Well, I do not remember exactly about my dad. I remember that he ever gave me a very large lollipop candy when I became a champion in my first grade class. Besides that memory, and some memories that flashed in my head, I can not remember anything else. Well, it's almost five years since she left me, so I think it’s so normal if I forget a lot of things.
"When you have finished clearing the table, you have to take a nap," said Mama.
Mama was a very disciplined about the time, no matter on TV there is The Simpson's to be watch; he would not let you if it is time for take a nap. So I can only answer, "Yes, Mom."
After I finished clearing the table, I immediately got into the room and threw myself to the bed. Well, actually my new room is not so bad. Just need some improvement. Maybe tomorrow I'll paint and paste wall paper and also displaying the trappings of my former self. It will definitely be better. After a long think about the new room design I started to sleep.
 ***
Hi” said someone, while patting my shoulder.  And ten I awake. Who is that?! She’s really disturbing my sleep! I rubbed my eyes and saw a woman who looks much older than me, wearing the clothes and makeup that looks very cute.
"Hi, I'm Lulu," she said, holding out his hand to me.
"I’m Olive. Olivia, "I replied that then shook his hand.
"Olive, you want to come with me?" asked the girl.
" But, where?" I asked.
“To a really fun place,” she said then pulled me out of bed. He sowed sparkling powder that appeared under my door and opened it. It seemed to me strange hallway with bright colors and fun.
"Come on, you do not need to be afraid!" Somehow I feel safe going with a girl named
Lulu. Not as usually, I have never believed to someone who just I know for a moment. And then we walked along the hallway and then arrived in a very wonderful place.
"Where are we?" I asked with full of curiosity.
"This is Lolly World. I'll take you around the world," Lulu said with a smile. Loly world like the world in fairy tales I've ever read. There were many strange plants that look like candy and confectionery. There is even a chocolate pond complete with fountains and surrounded by pebbles marshmallow. Lulu even lets me to taste everything! It’s really fun. All the people are friendly and polite to me.
There is even an old woman invited me into her muffin house and asked me to have a cup of tea. I also found many facts about the Lolly World. Lulu told me that the human in the Lolly World spends more childhood in their lives. Their ages are also much longer than ordinary human like me. Lulu said that Lolly World’s humans go to school for the first time when they were 20 years old, not 6 like us. But despite them actually older than us, they still look like ordinary people like us. So do not be fooled by their appearance.
"Lulu, exactly why are you taking me to the Lolly World?" I asked as we both were sitting under a Lollipop tree.
"Olivia, actually this world is in trouble. Since the king passed away the princess was always gloomy because he felt lonely.  She needs a friend and only girl who ever received a Magic Lollipop could be her friend," he explained.
"But, I never got any magic Lollipop," I replied
"Do you still remember with Lollipop that given by your dad?" asked Lulu. I suddenly remembered the Lollipop that I got from Daddy.
"Oh yes, I remember! But, what can I do to the princess and what’s the proof that the Lollipop was magic? I've spent it after Daddy gave me. Besides, I'm not good at joking people. So, I don’t think that I can do that," I said.
Lulu smile at me and said, "You know, Lollipop Magic was actually only given to people with sincere hearts. That person is you, Olive. Do not be afraid. You only need to be a friend and I'm sure you could do it. "Then he took my hand," now, let's meet Princess Anastasia. "Then, Lulu and I went to the Palace of Caramel by sweet cotton cloud.
I was surprised to see the atmosphere of the Palace of Caramel looks very awful. The atmosphere at the Palace was very different from the part of Lolly world that very cheerful and pleasant.
"Lulu, why were the Palace seems so pathetic?" I asked Lulu.
"Yeah, it's all because of Princess Anastasia who always cheerful suddenly turned into a moody and mellow. Palace officials feel really sad and discouraged," said Lulu. Hearing the answer, I could only smile wryly.
Lulu then spoke to an elderly man who looks like a palace official. Then, the old man led me to a room. I also welcome to enter it.
I saw a girl who seems has same age with me. She was not beautiful like the Princess in the fairy tales I've ever read. He's fat, short, his face full of freckles, her hair matted and his face looks so sad.
"Um .... Hey, I'm ... uh, um, I'm Olivia. Are you, um ... Princess Anastasia? "I asked hesitantly. This is the first time I invite strangers to talk. You know, I'm the type who could not start a conversation before someone stars.
"Go away! I don’t want to meet with anyone. Especially, with a stranger like you. Stay away! "
"But I just want to be friends with you."
"You lie! I don’t have Mom and Dad, my face is ugly and the worst is my best friend had recently passed away," she took a framed photograph and held it. I really fell sorry to her, then caress her back gently.
"He was very kind to me. His name is Andy. Unfortunately, he’s just an ordinary human beings whose growth normally, not like us, the man in the world Lolly." she said as she wiped a picture of her and also that people whose called as her best friend. I stare it carefully and feel familiar with the face of Princess Anastasia’s friend. Isn’t that ..,
"Wait! Do you mean that Andy is my daddy? The one who gave me the Magic Lollipop? "
"Is he your father? Magic Lollipop?  Do you mean it’s the Lollipop that I give him?" asked Princess Anastasia. I just nodded, "Oh, Andy .... you are really my true friend. You keep your promise to send a new friend for me." We both hugged each other and from that moment  I’m  officially being best friend of Princess Lolly's World and of course with Lulu. A big party was held to celebrate the return of the princess who was always cheerful. The party was really fun. It’s full of sweetness and happiness.
***
"Olivia ... wakes up dear," Mom’s voice sounded faint. I was awake. In my room and not in the Lolly World. Ah, what a shame it's all just a dream! I quickly get out of bed and hurried out of the room to help Mama. "I made ​​this cake for our neighbor. Can you give it to them, darling?" Without changing clothes I immediately execute her command.
After knocking on the door, I heard a female voice answered from within. She opened the door and I gave the cake. She let me in and asked me for a cup of tea and introduced me to his grand daughter who was older than me. Wait, isn’t she?
"Hi, Olive! My name is Lulu I'm so glad to meet you," Lulu said as she winked. "Remember. Everything that happens is a secret between us, "Lulu whispered to me.

26 komentar:

  1. I think your story need introduction. But as a whole, it’s nice story

    BalasHapus
  2. Good imagination!
    Your story is good.
    But I think you have to use past tense when you write a narrative story. You still use present tense in your story.

    BalasHapus
  3. Your story is very interesting. I never predict your story will be end like that. Two thumbs up for you. So, the Lolly World is true? I think, it was just Olivia’s dream.
    In my opinion, you might add a character introduction and add some complicated troubles for Olivia’s adventure in Lolly World, so your story would be more interesting.
    I think that’s all from me. Thank you for the story. Bye…

    BalasHapus
  4. you must try to describe more about the story and fulfill the climax, honey. because, some readers might be confused because you don't explain more what hapened to lulu's father and soon. you must use past tense pattern , too honey.
    but, over all, i feel that your story is interesting and easy to grasp the moral value. keep your imagination, honey and don't forget to use idioms and some proverbs that we have learnt before .

    BalasHapus
  5. Just like Agus said, your story should include the introduction of characters. But, apart from that, your story was great. It is suitable lifted into a movie. Your Inspiration is amazing Puput.

    BalasHapus
  6. Your story is so interesting...I like the way you write your story...your imagination is so high, I like it...but, you have to revise two or three mistakes in personal pronoun and also you have to describe the characters in your story...
    over all, it's a good story...
    :D

    BalasHapus
  7. i like your imagination to make this story, Lolly world just a part of Olivia's dream..
    but you need to revise some words that wrong..
    over all, it's nice "acong"..

    BalasHapus
  8. puput,you made ​​me remember when I was little .. I think all children have had imagination like lulu. nice story...

    BalasHapus
  9. Good story sist... You have good imagination and I like the way you tell your imagination... good job.. :)

    BalasHapus
  10. good imagination, honey.
    hehehe, i have donated my imagination, too. say thanks to me please.
    xixixixix, you'd better write it more longer to add the information about lulu's father.
    the grammar and vocabulary are good. you have worked hard and i appreciate it. success!

    BalasHapus
  11. Nice pput, I already read this story exactly. But I think you interesting on children world. You loves to read fantasy book etc. It is good enough .. :D

    BalasHapus
  12. wahh.... i think your story is probably appropriate for girl only....it is about family's problem....but honestly i like the conversation in your story which like the real life....
    great job

    BalasHapus
  13. reading your story makes me have a lot of imagination..over all,,your story is good..nice, put!

    BalasHapus
  14. this story is SONICE...i think you have to make your own novel and sell it to children...they will love it...nice imagination..

    BalasHapus
  15. You have a great imagination, Put! From your story, the readers can suggest that you are the girl who loves children. You have a talent to give happiness and cheerful with your story. I hope you can increase your ability well. To make your story more perfect, you can check the diction that you have used, especially in the fourth paragraph. “I became a champion in my first grade class” I am confused with that sentence. Do you want to tell that Olivia got the first rank in her class or she became a champion in competition? It will be better if you make it clearly. Overall, I know you have done it very well. Congratulation Sist! 

    BalasHapus
  16. “A story of fantasy worl is a good story. The idea flows in a good way, but I would like to give a suggestion to give an effect to Olivia’s life that caused by Lolly world. It’s a wonderful story.”

    BalasHapus
  17. your story is very intresting, but i think you need to add more introduction in your story...

    BalasHapus
  18. deny
    nice story girl,,,
    you have good imagination,,,
    your storyline is good enough,,,
    not only at the beginning of the story that there is no prominent character recognition

    BalasHapus
  19. there is no clear orientation..... so it is difficult to figure the story out from the beginning. but overall it is nice story....keep going...^^

    BalasHapus
  20. That is a wonderful story sist. A fairy tale,, I like it… I feel like return to the child when I read your story. :D

    BalasHapus
  21. Wow, a great story, a high imagination of you. Your story let me in to a miracle world, a lolly world. Also, your story makes me miss to suck a lolipop. Delicious. :p Things that I can learned from your story are we don’t really need to worry too much about our problem, just take it as the way it is, and don’t forget to let ourself to joy, a miracle must be there, in one place. Wherever it is, I know it is exists. A wonderfull story, good job :D

    BalasHapus
  22. Nice story.. Maybe you want to make your story unique in the opening. But it make me confuse, so next time you should pay attention about that. Good job ^^

    BalasHapus
  23. woooww, nice story put.. You have a unique idea. I like it.. :) Good imagination..

    BalasHapus
  24. good imagination girls :)
    nice,, and i think all children like your story,, hehehheeh :P

    agunk diiah

    BalasHapus
  25. For all: thanks for all your compliment and also your advice. I'll make it better next time! Love ya guys! ^^V

    BalasHapus
  26. great story sist... your imagination is unique and interensting... keep imagining darl...

    BalasHapus